Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[tyme]

I agree with @Shaz51  - You need to look after yourself first  @Tootsy .

How are you and hubby anyway?

[Tootsy]

@Shaz51 @tyme  Will definitely look into it. I do believe it’s a bit too much for me to handle and I have no balance. I’m waiting for my break down as I’ve been holding it together for nearly 2 weeks now or maybe I’m stronger than I think? 

[tyme]

That sounds so tough. Do you have people you can reach out to? Carers Australia? Friends? Family?

Remember, we are always here @Tootsy  I don't want you to feel you have to do it alone.

[Shaz51]

@Tootsy , I have always thought I was stronger than I was too my awesome friend 🧡 until I had a couple of carers break down in the last few years 

I have always pushed myself saying I was OK xx

@tyme , @Healandlove 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Healandlove , how are you going tonight my friend 🧡 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , I'm OK, thank you so much for thinking of me. My husband had one of his moods yesterday and snapped at me and my daughter but after standing up for us both and telling him how upset he made us he apologised and was able to regulate quickly. I think that is the hardest part, not knowing when he will go into his down spiral. Having our doggie has helped but also added stress due to the puppy's toilet training. I see improvement in how quickly he is trying to regulate. I really hope it gets better and better over time.

How are you and Mr Shaz? I'm hanging around for a work call tonight at 10pm. So want to go to bed but I need to stay up.

It's very cold in Sydney 🥶🥶🥶. Hope you are both keeping nice and warm. Sending you 🫂 hugs and love xx

[Shaz51]

I agree @Healandlove 

That is the hardest part, will I say something or not , I have bit my tongue alot in the past 

To let it go or not , but well done for yesterday xxx

Are you working today ? That is a bit later for a phone call 

Look like husband has the flu , he is in bed 

It was a cool 11 overnight 😎 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , yes the knowing when to say something vs not adds to my anxiety.  However when it comes to the kids I am a big mama bear and will always stand up to my husband if I see he is not being fair to the kids. And by that I mean if he puts harsh consequences in place because he can't deal with what they are doing, lacks the patience to be mindful of their feelings or is an absent father. I know he loves our kids but emotional connection is hard for him at times and it doesn't come naturally.  Part upbringing,  part petsonality and part cptsd. However after i point something out he always makes things right by the kids and with me. I will also stand up for myself always.

It is exhausting though. Hopefully therapy makes these difficult moments happen less and less. 

I hope Mr Shaz's flu doesn't drag on and that you don't catch it too! I am currently down with something...sore throat and congestion. 

Yes I report overseas so sometimes I have these late calls.

So cold in Sydney today. And I heard there's a top if 7 degrees in the Blue Mountains 🥶🥶🥶.

Having a cup of coffee and delicious chocolate cake with you and all our forum friends in my mind 🙂.

Hugs and hugs 🫂 dear friend 🧡 

[Healandlove]

@Former-Member , I am so sorry.  I thought I had replied to your message by saying I would be back to reply with a thoughtful reply. I must've not hit sent. My messages are so interrupted by children, puppy, husband...sigh. Please forgive me. 

Truth is when I read your story about why you separated I was in tears. I can't believe you went through all that. How unkind does someone have to be (your husband) to do what he did! I am so sorry @@PinkFlamingo. 

You are incredibly brave and I am so proud of you for making the decision to leave. 

And you are living a happier life and building a career to help others.  Oh my dear friend 🧡...I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you love yourself deeply and you tell yourself every morning that you are wonderful. 

Thank you so much for sharing your story and I am sorry again for taking so long to reply. 

These days everyday is more of a challenge that I care to admit. I am going to my first EMDR session on Friday. 

Sending you hugs and live. Thank you for being here for us ❤️.