Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

sorry @Bella1978 i dont want to put this onto you or anyone. maybe its best i go for now...

[Bella1978]

@outlander

you're really struggling today sweets 😞

you are so loved, and your forum friends are all here for you too. 

i recall reading lifeline is not open on weekends?? is there another one you can contact if you feel you need to talk about what is on your mind luv? i know its easier said than done!

are you concerned your sister's dog bite will affect her later on in life?

xx

[MDT]

@outlander You must ensure you are safe then. Do you have a safety plan and are you enacting it?

[Bella1978]

@outlander

please dont ever apologise. i am here if you want to chat to me luv. i want you to be safe. i care about you very much. 

[outlander]

i dont know @Bella1978 she watches dog movies, pats other dogs, pats our dog and gives it treats she doesnt avoid them. the only thing ive noticed is she doesnt like big dogs and hides behind one of us if it comes up but only if its at the dog beach and they are all bouncing around- that seems normal though as ive seen that it so any kids. 

i dont know anoy more Bella, the past few days are just shite. my psycholgist, psychiatrist and gp dont do anything to help so its not even worth trying to speak to them. i cant contact a helpline, i worry they will get someone to come and check here and i cant afford that either.

@MDTmy safety plan is the thing thats been helping the past few days.

[Bella1978]

@outlander

from what you say luv, i dont think your sister has been deeply affected by what happenned. especially if she enjoys dog movies, pats and feeds doggies, i think she's doing really good. also, i personally think it is natural that she would hide behind someone when there are dogs bouncing around everywhere! i love dogs but dont appreciate them jumping all over the place hehe. when i was younger i used to be scared of dogs, looking back i have no clue why though lol. please try not to overthink the situation with your sister luv.

sounds like your mental health team arent giving you the support you need which would be adding to your stress luv. is there an after hours gp/counsellor/psychiatrist you can see? im pulling straws here. and i get you dont want to someone to come out and check on you. i want you to be safe luv. and you have a safety plan yes? i read your message to @MDT.

[outlander]

i keep telling myself shes ok @Bella1978 it isnt helping me. she was 3 when it happened she turns 7 or if you ask her (7 and a half). we have a small dog but i have a panic attack when she goes out the back and thats our dog let alone some one elses dog. i cant even look at her 😞 when i talk to her i can barely look at her, it looks like im looking at her but im really not because i cant face her or seeing her scar. ive got scars from it too not just mentally i just wish it was me that got hurt worse or that i hadve thought quicker. 

yeh ive got  a safety plan,thts what ive been using the past few days. 

[Bella1978]

@outlander

aaw bless, she likes to make sure everyone knows she is 7 and a half hehe ... even if she isnt!

its understandable your anxiety will increase when she is around dogs as your mind takes you back to what happenned. you hold onto so much guilt luv which isnt healthy for you. and as a protector you naturally wish you had gotten hurt worse than she did. but i know in my heart you did the best you could, and that is something that i hope in time you can accept.

i know its easier said than done, but can you reflect on all the times she has been around dogs and she has been okay, no harm has come to her. im sure there are plenty of times that has happenned but unfortunately your mind goes back to the traumatic event. our mind plays tricks on us i tells ya!

has your dog ever hurt your sister? im just hoping over time you can build up some more confidence when your sister is around your dog. i wish i could wave a magic wand and all our troubles be gone! *big hugs for you sweets*

xxxxxxxxxxxx

[outlander]

no shes more like 7 yrs  and 4 months- not quite half @Bella1978 even though she says she is. 

this is mostly the reason im in therapy and this is what im suppose to be doing in my therapy sessions but i cant handle it. shes given me an exercise and i cant do it. ive cancelled on her before because shes really harsh and i havent even tried to do it yet. i done it once in her session. 

no our dog hasnt ever hurt us before, she is a rescue though but we got her as a puppy. she has bitten someone else in protection of us. the only problem is she is sensitive in some areas because she was attacked by another dog we had and stupid me(and pop)  got in between that one too. the other dog wasnt like that towards people but no risks taken after that. so our  dog now in certain areas will yelp and ni-p (shes been cleared by he vet etc but its abit in her head now too). ive always been weary about dog even before that incident and obviously its alot worse. 

[MDT]

does retelling it on here help or not @outlander ?