Lived Experience Forum

[TAB]

Two birds with one stone always good re shops @Zoe7 okay talk later

[Zoe7]

Shopping and chemist done and dinner eaten @TAB Going to have meds now and get an early night after I reply to some more posts. Hope you are having an okay afternoon and the evening is an easy one for you.

[TAB]

✅ re your mission @Zoe7 Thanks . Well I guess sleep well is a bit redundant? Yeah . day was uneventful mostly. Beats a bad one. Still glad it’s coming to a close tho 😀

[Zoe7]

Gotna couple more things I need to do tonight - mostly cleaning up and then I can think about bed @TAB - already feeling the effects of meds so I better get to it. Hope you get to sleep sooner rather than later tonight - catch you tomorrow.

[TAB]

No worries @Zoe7 just having late nap here Have work tomorrow so prob not around much til about now ish re time

[Shaz51]

hello @TAB, hope you have a good day tomorrow xx

[Razzle]

@Shaz51  Thanks for the tag, it’s taken me a couple of days to jump on.

I really struggle at this time of year.  I hate the shopping, the Xmas carols, pretty much everything.  I used to LOVE Xmas but I haven’t felt the joy for years now.  My councillor asked about it at our last session and wanted to know how long I’ve felt this way - I’ve felt like this for most of my married life, so about 25years.  It’s for a variety of reasons, made worse the year I lost my 9yo son.

Today I picked my mum up and took her Xmas shopping.  She has dementia and it is declining rapidly.  I had also organised a hair cut for her (at her request).  Long story short, she got a bee in her bonnet and got a bit peeved at me and was a bit of a brat most of the day.  She went to her hair appointment and wouldn’t let them cut it, so they just blow dried it in the end.  

I spent a lot of time trying to cheer her up while also trying to shop for gifts.  I was able to find something for the Wishing Tree - a gift I buy for my lost son in his honour so that another child doesn’t go without.  Mum decided to sit in the car for the rest of the day while my hubby ducked into shops.  I really wanted to finish my shopping but didn’t want to leave her alone so I ended up sitting in the car with her.

I’m so f@&$en angry, upset and just over the whole thing, but I still need to turn around and go back and do it all again in the next few days.  I’m not angry at mum, this isn’t her, it’s the damn dementia but I just feel shit right now.  

My skin prickles at the moment, I just feel very uncomfortable in my own body.  I had a hair appointment myself today, something I have psyched myself

up for because I can’t stand being touched, so I’ve done battle with my own brain for weeks to prepare myself.  Felt pretty good about it this morning, but by the time I got there I was so uncomfortable I was like an iron bar, stiff and rigid and hated every minute  being there.  

I just want to go to bed and cry and cry and wake up and it be the 27th and the whole thing be over with.  

I miss being excited and happy and relaxed and just enjoying the day, it shouldn’t feel like this.

[TAB]

Hi @Shaz51 thankyou, hope you do as well 

[Former-Member]

Ha, this is what I'm looking for. I place to come bitch about Xmas. I suffer dysthymia depression & anxiety and for some reason this tie of year throws me into a downward spiral that starts when all the decs come out in retail stores. This week I feel it bad and I still haven't done any festive shopping. Oh, I tell a lie, at op shop today they were selling $20 surprise woolies hampers. Since I don't know what's in it I thought it would be like a present for myself (since its unlikely I'll get a gift). But all in all its the opposite for me to what's on the TV, in the neighbourhood etc Need somewhere and the forums are a great idea for us on our own.

[TAB]

I like the bit about surprising yourself with the gift @Former-Member 😀 Hi .
I don’t hate xmas I think I’ve got over missing it. I’m going to get myself a present as well. I live on my own. I prefer it. I used to go home for xmas ie interstate, can neither afford nor justify it this year though. Best Wishes. And well done re finding the thread. There’s so many now