Is there anybody out there (wanna lend me a hand)

[Radarears]

@OM108 I'm a Pink Floyd tragic.  "Another Brick in the Wall" strengthens me.  I never delved into the lyrics either but something about the songs must have resonated at the time.  I'm enjoying the retro 50s and 60s tunes atm.

[Radarears]

@OM108 I tend to do things "arse about" when I'm tired like now.  Absolutely you do tend to "forget" the positives.  My psychologist God bless her inspired me to create a "hatch match and dispatch" strategy for memories.  I'm sorry to say at one point even she was scratching her head wondering if there were any positives.  Of course there are but from another time and a different person etc.  To me it's like sifting through the ashes of a house after a bushfire.  There's usually a small trinket to be found.  I tend to detach and unplug.  I'm being bullied and harassed, judged and turned away right now and I need the balance of knowing SOMEONE gets it and DOESNT head for the hills is so important in keeping me from being hospitalised tbh.  Finding people who are huggers and happy to touch is the most powerful drug for someone who was never kissed or cuddled.  

[Radarears]

@Jynx I don't know if you realise but cats will cross 3 metres of tiles to hurk up on carpet.  No splash.  The sound of a retching cat is better than an alarm when it comes to leaping out of bed to shift said cat off bed or carpet.   Bonus points if you grab paper towel and catch it.

Sorry folks but true crazy cat people love sharing stories like this and laugh hysterically at the men's responses. And if it helps you stick to your diet???

Thanks people you've worked magic today.  You've lightened my load and I'm laughing and giggling now.   Now comes the fun of trying to convince my brain to go to sleep.  

[Asgard]

Hi @Radarears 

Just been reading through all the posts and am so glad that all our interactions have had a positive effect on you.  As for cats, I have 2, and you are right, I have never been so quick off the couch when they start to vomit, hoping dear god that its not on the carpet again, that sense of achievement that you have shepherded safely onto the courtyard where they can vomit in peace.  Oh dear God, now I think I have lost the plot, I'm supposed to be serious and offering advice, instead I'm yacking on about my cat's puke!!!!!

I think we have latent writers in us all, sometimes I get lost in my own words and the worlds I imagine.  My Mum used to tell me that there was a really good book locked up in that mind of mine, I have a feeling that you are the same.  Anyways hope today shines bright for you, thinking of you..................Asgard

[Radarears]

I'm having a seriously bad life.  I just have to offload or my head will explode.  Bravely returned to the gym this morning.  That was where I was on the receiving end of the verbal abuse by gentleman #1.   Gentleman #2 whom I only know by his shirt and his mad at it use of the x trainer decided to jab me in the arm (I was on the one next to him) and complain I was making too much noise.  He had been reported for abusing another female for some noise she made.  I pushed myself to stay another 5 minutes and try not to run.  Then I'm abused by some vagrant who was lying in the car bay I was backing into.  He had an extremely limited vocabulary.  People were nearby noone intervened nor went into the shop for help.  The centre management lack resources for security, cameras etc.  Not unsympathetic but without a name can do nothing.  I'm going back to the gym to report this other man.  I'm a complete physical wreck need to use the gym and pool and I'm unable to.  I'm desperately trying to access mental health services trying to do my "homework" for the psychologist, and wondering why on earth people tell me that shutting myself in and not answering the door or letting people in is a sign of my mental health issue.😠 🤔 😅 

I have to sound off because I'm still so worked up about it all and in such a short space of time it's just a bit too much.  Don't isolate yourself.  You have to get out and talk to people.  Join groups.  Good for your mental health.  I'm not sure if the flag I'm waving is red and these people are really bulls.  Perhaps I should wave the white flag.  

[tyme]

That's a tough one @Radarears Sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time.

I hope things work out for you.

Sometimes, the effort of following up is just not worth it. Other times, it can bring justice to the situation.

We will support you with whatever you decide to do.

Have a good night.

[Radarears]

@tyme I'm speaking out without much confidence in anything changing.  I'm constantly engaging with people who have suffered the injustice system as they term it.  But due to the fact that I'm already so traumatised and damaged as a result of being ignored and having to walk away and deal that I need to find my voice.  Not just walk away.  

Thank you for plugging in.  It does help. 

My furbabies are now demanding my time so good night and God bless.

[tyme]

Hey @Radarears ,

No one will pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. 

With me, I think I changed over time. I always said I'd never engage in group therapy, but when I 'grew up' and realised everything else I tried wasn't working, I had to give it a go. 

It had to be at the right time though. If anyone tried to shove it down my throat any earlier, I would have kicked.

I think for me, the main learning was if something doesn't work after giving it a red hot go, then it's time to try something else.

Furbabies? Tell me more!

[Radarears]

@tyme my cats are my children.  I have had HITH to avoid hospital due to me being unable to leave them.  Apart from the fact of they are my therapy pets I have one who is very challenged and gets seriously unwell at the slightest thing.  He needs monitoring medicating and managing 24/7 just as a skin child would.  Unfortunately he has been terrorised by person or persons unknown/known and he won't come near people.  Neither will my girl.  But as long as she's fed she'll cope for a day or two.  He can't.  He could become seriously unwell and by the time someone was able to catch him he wouldn't survive.  I'm feeling very unwell and doing everything I can to avoid hospital due to him.  I'm seeing my gps colleague Tuesday due to how bad things have become.  I sat with my support worker yesterday to try and draft out a coherent document for him as he has no knowledge of my mh issues.  She poor thing was going home for a large glass of something alcoholic as a result.  Still it will be enough to go on.  I've also decided to terminate my gym membership.  I'm unhappy, unsupported and being told off for singing to some music was a deal breaker.  Yes I'm the person who will say no before yes due to fear of the unknown.  I'm not averse to groups as such but having been in several toxic groups I'm cautious about trying again.  ATM I'm overloaded wounded in action and a tad reactive.  In other words I'm over it. 

[tyme]

Awwww, that's sounds so tough! Open wounds are painful. Every bump is like rubbing salt to the wound. I'm hearing you.

You sound like a lovely parent. It's great that your babies have you. It sounds like they have been through a lot too. 

Hugs to you @Radarears .

I hope you find something that works. Trust me, no judgment on my side if you need to vent 🙂 And no, I won't need a glass of wine after 🙂